My PG-13 Post

An excerpt from Law, Sex, and Christian Society in Medieval Europe[Chicago: Univ. of Chicago Press, 1987]

Feeling randy? -- Are you married? No? Stop, sin! -- Is this your wife? No? Stop, sin! -- Married for more than three days? No? Stop, sin! -- Is your wife menstruating? Yes? Stop, sin! -- Is your wife pregnant? Yes? Stop, sin! -- Is it Lent? Yes? Stop, sin! -- Is it Advent? Yes? Stop, sin! -- Is it Witsun week? Yes? Stop, sin! -- Is it Easter week? Yes? Stop, sin! -- Is it a feast day? Yes? Stop, sin! -- Is it Sunday? Yes? Stop, sin! -- Is it Wednesday? Yes? Stop, sin! -- Is it Friday? Yes? Stop, sin! -- Is it Saturday? Yes? Stop, sin! -- Is it daylight? Yes? Stop, sin! -- Are you naked? Yes? Stop, sin! -- Are you in church? Yes? Stop, sin! -- Do you want a child? No? Stop, sin! If you answered all the above correctly you can go ahead but no fondling, no lewd kisses, no oral sex, and no strange positions. Do it only once. Try not to enjoy it and wash afterward.